Twice in as many days I blew my top...in a big fireworks way. There were circumstances (aren't there always??) but the facts are irrelevant to the explosions in some ways. Besides the obvious reasons (oh let me count the ways) I wondered what was really going on with me. Thought if I would just sit still for awhile the answers would come to me. They usually do if you let them. Trust the Oprah show to provide the answers...seriously. I've never watched an Oprah show until I moved to Katie's place in January. Now I secretly hope I get home from work in time to catch the afternoon's repeat of the broadcast. Good thing this is the last season. Michael Douglas was being interviewed yesterday by Oprah about his recent bout with throat cancer. Oprah asked him about how he had used anger in the past throughout his life. His response? "Anger is a false sense of energy...it fades away." So there it is. Just like that. The anger doesn't equal energy - trust me on this. It simply makes me feel, for a very brief spell, that I do have my old surge. Immediately afterwards I was wasted of course. Both times. Looks like I depleted my energy bank reserves a bit and may be bouncing checks for a few days. Now that I've laid out my confessional I hope to be a better person today. Katie hopes so too - she had to call Camie in on Monday to steady the boat. Slept better last night and I'm not so shaky this morning so the chances are good that I'll start afresh today. Once again, the future hasn't been written. Isn't that nice.
Hugs,
Mary
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