Dr. Chemistry

January 24th 2011, my first appointment with the oncologist. Within the first couple minutes of the visit the doctor informed me that in my PET scan I had lit up the boards, had probably had cancer at least 3 years or more likely 5 or more years, and that we would need to test the bone marrow to see if I was stage 4. I held up my "mother finger" - the one that means I'm not fooling around here - and told her to hold on a darn minute...I said that I needed to interview her before we continued. She was a little taken back but compliant. I proceeded with the interview. I have to admit it was not my best effort. Nonetheless, she passed. She then told me that we would do the bone marrow sample right then. RIGHT THEN??? I felt like I'd been tricked - and thank heavens because who would voluntarily do that to themselves?? She was very clear that she was very, very good at this task. Laying face down on the exam table, rear end in the breeze, she started preparing to extract some bone marrow and a sample of bone. Hold the phone I said - and stopped her in her tracks. I asked her if my butt was cute...she said "yes" so I said let's do it. My Mom thought I was being funny, but no I wasn't. I mean the woman has seen a lot of asses in her day and I had been working out hard core for two years and I wanted a professional opinion. That kind of opportunity just doesn't present itself often. And, yes, the woman does perform a "mean" (meaning in a good way) bone marrow sample. When we were done I told her I thought she and I had good chemistry and we could work together. She agreed. So I officially put Dr. Chemistry on my team. When I described Dr. C. to my friends I told them she was very to the point, liked things to be done right, and wore a cute cardigan and great shoes. There is a lot to be said about a woman who wears just the right kind of stylish shoes - like the "yes I can wear them all day shoes and still look good" kind of footwear. And while Dr. Chemistry doesn't mess around with the facts, she knows when to show the kindness (not the slobbery oh dear kind of stuff.) During my first chemo session she came over and knelt by my chair and told me that the cancer was indeed in my bone marrow (with just the right gentle touch to my knee.) Didn't phase me because I was drunk on benedryl and told her about 10 times that I liked her. You can always hear Dr. Chemistry coming due to the clippity clop of these good looking shoes. Even when I was stoned on chemo I knew when she was around due to her own self fabricated syncopation. When she first delivered the news about the stinkin lymphoma I was so PISSED that it made me cry, and I was mad, mad, mad. She rode the tide of my anger till I was ready to get the news that my port would be put in three days from then,and chemo would start the following day. The two of us, we're not the type of women that fool around getting stuff done. I was up for the gig 110% and told her I aimed to be the model cancer patient. Last Wednesday when she told me my scan was almost clear she delivered it in her same get down to it style. I teared up when she spoke of my "remission" and she looked surprised - it was my first time with the "r" word and I held it dear. Dr. C. and I plan to be together for the next few years at a minimum. AND, as I reminded her, I have been the model cancer patient to date and I plan to continue. She agreed that I was indeed the MCP, because the facts are the facts. So here's to me and Dr, Chemistry - to a long, long remission filled future. Gotta retain my position as top of the cancer patient pile. I can really be an overachiever when I put my mind to it - kinda like that Dr. Chemistry (which is just what you want in an oncologist.)