Dear Timmy...

Dear Timmy,
I will never get a chance to meet you but I found out that you're in the "C" Club with me - and that you've been fighting hard to kick the door shut as much as you can for as long as you can. That fight for life is so powerful that I could feel it when your sister K. told me about it and the shear force of it washed over me like an ocean wave. It's impossible to not be awed by what you are doing. Thank you for letting everyone know that every minute of our lives are worth kicking and scratching and biting for...that every part of this journey is sweet, even when it's hard and painful and difficult - because it is ours to live. I can only honor you by being grateful for each breath I take and each moment I am given. K. says you are a chef and that you have fed your big extended family loads of beautiful food. Thanks for feeding my soul to it's very core. You can't get a better meal than that.
Love you,
Mary

Dear Penny...

Dear Penny,
I have never met you but your sister has been a dear to me and she told me a little bit about your circumstances. I understand that you've been served some extra helpings of reality on your plate of life. I met your sister Deb while visiting my dentist. When she learned of my diagnosis she did things like write sweet notes on my bill, sent me a card and was always so lovely on the phone. She was (is) amazing...and then I found out that she knows what it means to go through treatment because she has been by your side. The only thing I could think to do in response to her outpouring of love was to let you know that I'd like to have your back too - that we don't have to have ever met for me to think of you and wish you the very best and to have lots and lots of hope for you everyday. So I'm sending it your way with all the best positive energy that I can. And trust me, I'm so full of cheerfulness right know that my office has to be warned how high I am on the sunshine meter every day so that they can duck and cover when necessary. So as you continue to take big bites out of that realty pie you've got in front of you please know that I'm on your side.
Love you,
Mary

Mary Sunshine Rules!!

Allyce is kicking my trash for not posting a blog - but seriously this "life as usual" is a busy, busy schedule to keep. I am obnoxiously happy every day - Orion says it's that new lease on life that I just signed. He got his when a car nearly knocked him through the door while riding his bike so he knows the deal. A fellow I was sitting by on the bus the other day asked,"did you do that on purpose to your hair or did something happen to you?". It was one of those I-had-it-on-my-mind-and-blurted-it comments. You can certainly say I did it on purpose AND something happened to me. So now while nothing is happening to me I'm digging every day, every meal, every encounter. Mary Sunshine Rules! More normal later - gotta have a regular plain ole glorious night of sleep.

Thank you, thank you, no really thank you to all the people everywhere...

My acceptance speech:

Thank you to all the peeps in American Fork for giving me the honor and distinction of being edgy, liberal and artsy in my new "do"...I don't know what to say, really, but I know how to grow it right.  I appreciate all the second looks everywhere...I know you're wondering where it all comes from.  It's not easy to look like a rock star everyday.  Someone has to do it - it might as well be me.

Thank you also to the folkie folks in Salt Lake City who recognize me and my faux hawk as one of the crowd, the in crowd, the crowd who knows their "tats" (that's ink to some of you) and longs for ear gauges.  I love your acceptance, your love, peace and hippie beads.  See you at the Gallery Stroll, the People's Market, the Twilight Concert.  I'm there for you.

Thank you all for the People's Choice Award- as the one to watch, the one to know.  All I want is world peace and some really, really cute shoes. MUWAH!!!! 

Ding, Dong!!

Ding, dong the blog ain't dead - Which old blog? The cancer blog...ding dong the blog ain't dead oh no! Wake up sleepy head - rub your eyes get out of bed...the cancer blog ain't dead! Ding dong the merry oh - sing it high sing it low - THE CANCER BLOG AIN'T DEAD...

August is well under way and nary a word from moi. Well I'm singing now and got my dancing shoes on. Hang onto your hats...more coming this way soon!

Graceland

While I was nursing my lymphoma community our lovable lab Gracie was growing her own tumor in the underarm of her front leg. A week and a half ago it was the size of a baseball...my friend c. gave advise on the go-to vet but he was booked a month out. Lo and beheld Dr. Gooddog called us directly after I left a message and arranged to see Gracie straight away. Long story short, after he spent sometime with Graceland on the floor of his office he offered to do surgery two days later. We picked Gracie up from her adventure on the way home from me receiving my remission permission slip from Dr. Chemistry. I was bubbling with joy and told the office folks at the Vet hospital my news...they said it gave them the chills and one offered to throw fake confetti for me. How can you not love a place that has signs on the wall that read "If you had a tail you'd wag it too" and "Acquiring a pet may be the only opportunity a human has to choose a relative." From the minute we saw Gracie post-surgery she was happy! The doc said the tumor was bigger, deeper and elongated inside her (I could just hear G's truck going whooshing by her). G has made a remarkable recovery despite her 10 inches or so of incisions...doing things she hasn't done for many months. Just now she and I hightailed it up to the park without a single hitch - neither of us feeling a single pain, our tongues hanging out and the gentle breeze in our fur (hers mostly brown, mine mostly white.). People ask me how I'm celebrating and if that ain't a party then I don't know what is.
Graceland - it's a state of being that can't be matched. Sandman summed it up so nicely with this Facebook posting:
Mom being officially in remission after 6 months of chemo plus beloved pet regaining mobility by having a giant tumor removed equals great way to say "F!!K YOU CANCER"

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Secret Agent

When Dr. Chemistry first declared "go" on the race for my cure, I had the perfect visualization to take me there. It popped in my head right off the bat - the Fly Lady! My friend Lovely introduced me to her a few years back. With wings and a wand she knows how to clean house in a jiffy. She lives by the "fifteen minutes a day" adage for bringing all sorts of cleaning chaos into a place of serenity and order. I imagined her hauling her bubble gum pink vacuum to my colon to plug in and get to work. Her first visit caught her by surprise - her cheeks went red and her head started to spin (there was ALOT of cleaning to do) but she got her composure back and said fifteen minutes a day would get 'er done. Everytime I had chemo I could imagine a big layer of ash all over the place - which was a delight to the Fly Lady! She would set to work, whistling and singing her way through the muck. When her vacuum bags got full she would look around, check to see if anyone was watching, and then chuck them down the sewer. Whenever I drank the white barium for a scan she would clap her hands with glee and declare "Fresh Paint"!! I liked listening to her work like a little elf in the garden picking and plucking the bad and leaving only the good stuff.

Last week I googled the "Fly Lady" to learn more about this merry little maid. Marla Cilley, the real life fly lady started out with that name because she was into fly fishing but it evolved into "finally loving yourself". Doesn't that make perfect sense. And the Fly Lady has three rules she lives by:
1. Don't sweat the small stuff- what doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
2. Laugh every day - even if it is at yourself.
3. Love like there is no tomorrow.

I knew the Fly Lady was the one for me - her rules are as right as rain in my book. Thanks for being there little winged wonder. You did me proud.