Words of Wisdom From Aunt Vu

A California biker is out in the beauty of nature and God decides to grant him one wish...The biker after a little thought asks for a bridge from California to Hawaii so that he can ride his bike over to the islands.  God says to the biker,"Isn't there something a little less materialistic that you might ask for?  Something of more substance."  The biker thinks again and then asks to understand what his wife is feeling - when she is crying and says it's nothing he would like to know what she is feeling - he would like to understand her thoughts.  God responded,"Would you like two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Getting Your Fence Posts In

Thursday night my sister Dianne (Annie Bananie as she is known to the clan) had a horrible fright as did all of us along with her. It involved a call to 911, an ambulance trip and a blood clot that moved swiftly through her leaving her short of breath. All of us on the sidelines could hardly breath ourselves. She's still in the hospital getting sorted out. Once we know she's ok I think the entire family will retreat to our beds and put the covers over our heads. So now AB is getting lectures far and wide about setting boundaries on what she does...it's not easy getting the fence posts in the right places. She has a lot to give - but part of that giving has to go to herself. Maybe she can put in a few gates that she can open now and again when she's up to it, and put the lock on her side of the fence so she can monitor strays. AB is famous for taking in strays. But limits are going to have to be set. To be honest, I'm one to talk. I over did it today and am beat into the ground. I get tired of being tired. I finally organized and put the Christmas stuff away that I had chucked in the basement. It was scheduled to be done in January before lymphoma rudely got in the way. Hugs and love to AB. She's in for the adventure of her life that much I know.
P.S. Had a scan on Friday - results next Friday.

240 Hours

Several years ago my friend Kat and I use to have a gratitude journal...which is to say that each day we would think of something nice to say about our work or our lives and tell each other.  Was thinking Ms. Kitty-Kat that it's time to dust off the gratitude journal again.  So - here's what I got:

10 chemo free days
Ten big ones
TEN GLORIOUS CHEMO FREE DAYS (regardless of how I feel)
1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1!!!!
T to the E to the N days
9 days plus one bonus day
Ten-tashalicious days
Gobs of hours...240 hours...

Mark it in the journal in big bold RED ink. 

Love that.

Who I Am

My hair is gone in patches (but mostly gone)
My eye brows are half their original look
My eyelashes are in funny little clumps
My belly is swollen
My arms and legs are weak in comparison to where I started
My stomach is uncertain about a lot of things...hmmm...
My brain is fuzzy on the edges.

But I am not hair, or eyebrows, or eyelashes, or a belly, or legs, arms, stomach or brain...

I am what is in my heart and what I share with others - and what I take in from the world.

I am one of the lucky, lucky few who gets a glimpse of this while there is much more living ahead of me.

I will not forget.

Pushing Me Through

I got the loveliest email from my friend Scott last week asking how I  doing with the chemo..."only two more to go Mary.  We'll push you through them if that is what you need.   If nothing else, we'll help you laugh through them anyway."  I thought about this "pushing through" a lot since then, and realized that my family and friends have been pushing me through this whole experience.  Each email, text, prayer, candle lit, kindness shown, good thought, errand run, book sent, meal cooked, and more have literally pushed me through.  Last week I was on the phone with a person inquiring about some work we are doing in Salt Lake City and I told him about the chemo (meaning brain fried) and that I would need to bring in another colleague to fill in the details.  He said that Mother Nature is a powerful source and that he would go "talk to a tree" for me...see what I mean? Push, push, push at every (important) turn.  I have to say that I'm grateful for all the pushiness...that when folks tell me I'm strong and courageous I wish they could see the big crowd standing behind me with their hands outstretched ready to hold me up and nudge me along.  Julie and Scott will be up for lunch on Thursday to help with another shove and I'll be glad for the boost.  Thank you everyone for keeping me on my feet - even when I didn't want to be there.

Innies and Outies

All last week I counted the minutes until BSJ(Baby Sister Jan) would be here from D.C. via her business meeting in Denver.  It was a long hard week and the anticipation of BSJ was something to help get me through.  It didn't help that it was gray and rainy all week either - but BSJ brought the sunshine with her.  Over lunch with the fab four on Friday I was bugging and prodding someone and BSJ said,"Where did you come from??  Everyone at this table is an introvert but you!"  Which I thought was so hilarious because I was thinking where did they all come from?? (as any true extrovert would think!)  This is why when I am with my extended family tribe I am always so comfortable - it's LOADED with extroverts (come on tribe members, fess up.)  So I told BSJ I would be writing a post about her and she said NO, don't out her in a post because that is too much for an innie.  As an outie though it would be a shame to not mention that BSJ took me on a ride up American Fork canyon when I was feeling low and gross...and she is the one who suggested maybe if we stopped at one of the campsites and I took my hat off that we might score a roasted hot dog that smelled so good even from the road.  I also shouldn't spill the beans on the fact that she helped with weeding in the yard, ran errands for me, bought me a new dress and told me to slow down and rest all weekend.  The Chief Researcher made us lovely meals and BSJ and I also got time to loaf around and read magazines.  But this information should stay quiet to respect the innie side of BSJ, even though I told her when I jumped in her bed at 5 am on Sunday (she was still on D.C. time) that she might get it in a post...it's not enough that I'm an extrovert I'm also a morning lark...rise and shine at 5 am!  So Jannie...I totally respect your need for privacy.  But please come back soon...I need some more of that solitude with you again.  Miss you already.

Dear Target Pharmacy...

Dear Target Pharmacy,
Please remove my prescription for prednisone from your auto-refill program.  I don't think it is funny.
Sincerely,
Ms. DeLaMare-Lunatic-Schaefer