Ten Things I Know About Cancer...So Far...

Got no sugarplums dancing in my head, just leftovers of my prednisone whirling dervishes so might as well document  what I've learned so far about cancer:

1.   Sadly, chocolate does not always taste good.
2.   A good hat or well wrapped head scarf can carry the day.
3.   Eating helps, even if it seems gross.
4.   Drugs can make your emotions turn on a dime - meaning raving lunatic.
5.   Little things are what make the day - everyday.
6.   Being able to sleep is pure joy.
7.   Not being able to sleep is pure hell.
8.   Better living through chemistry is an overstated fact.
9.   It's not about facing death, it's about living life right now, right this second, every second.
10. Loving everything about your life, even that which seems challenging and bizarre, is possible, doable, and frankly worth doing.

Am working on the next ten...till then wish me luck on the snoozing scene.

Oh Chile, Y'all Should Listen to Yo Momma

Spent the better part of the yesterday in bed with post-chemo Baby Phoma...reading (thanks to T.A.)Paula Deen's memoir about living through some very, very, hard times and being happy to wake up on "the other side of the dirt" as she calls it. That chile wears me out. Paula would tell this chemo baby to listen to "yo momma" for sure...last night (if you can call it a night) that new born had me up at midnight, one, two, three, four, and six am peeing and sweating the night away...typical kid. The day after nausea is starting to quell and maybe I'll go get me some grits...(HA). Paula ends her book with "I'm thrown all my stinkin thinkin out the window" so I'm with her. Here's to a better day, one day at a time.
Lots of suga to ya'll,
Mary

Had the WHOLE Look On Yesterday

Yesterday I got the A-Ok on my eye from Doctor Retina...but I left with only one eye dilated.  I mean why not complete the whole look...bald head and looking like a cyclop.  Shelly said I had a cat look going on.  No need to clean my paws...I shook my tail and went on my way.

Three Tales of ...You guessed it...Lymphoma

Chapter 1

On January 18th the colon doc told me I had lymphoma, but my oncology appointment was not until the 24th...(she was out of town.)  I elected to stay off the Internet.  I didn't want to fill my mind with info that it had no way to process.  I was grateful for the time before the oncology appointment so that I could let my mind catch up to where my body had landed.  Finally, the night before I met "Dr.Chemistry" I decided I should at least know the definition of what had been identified as my now "sit-u-a-shun."  What follows is the first item that showed up on my google search...(since then it took several serious searches to re-find the site):

"Your Lymphatic System is Like a Map

The lymphatic system is like a detailed road map with large dots (cities), small dots (towns), and a bunch of thin lines (roads). You can think of the map as your body and the network of dots and lines as your lymphatic system.
On this map, each lymphocyte is a person. Each town is a lymph node, a place where there are a lot of lymphocytes. Each city is a cluster of lymph nodes. And each road is a lymphatic vessel. Just as people use roads to get where they're going, lymphocytes use lymphatic vessels to get where they're going.

Invasion of Lymph Node "Cities"

Lymphoma is like a city whose mayor has gone mad and designs a machine to crank out drones who have one purpose: to make sure he stays in office. These "people" consume resources but don't give back to the community. The mayor just keeps cranking them out and at first, no one notices because they fit in quite nicely. But eventually, they overcrowd the city and even cripple it. If given enough time, the drones will hitchhike down the road to a new town and cripple it as well.
That's why someone needs to monitor the city, and that someone is you. The first step is to realize that the mayor is nuts (via colon cancer screening or symptoms). The second step is to remove him from office (via treatment)." (from about.com)

Having worked for city government for the past 29 years this couldn't have hit the spot better...and trust me I've known a nutty Mayor or two in my time.  You just can't make something this good up - I shut down the computer.  I didn't need a bit more info to start my journey.  Thank you angels of the Patron Saint of Lymphoma Release.  You rocked my socks and set my head straight.

Chapter 2

Genius was attending her Radioactive Chemistry Class.  The professor, feeling clever and in the object teaching moment I suppose, used the example of a Marshmellow Man (think Easter timing) who had and "egg" size tumor...yes...Marshmellow Man had lymphoma and would use radioactive chemistry (PET scan) to learn about the progress of the condition.

Genius turned to her friend Jessica and said,

"Uh...this is AWKWARD..."

Not so funny Mr. Professor-man.

Chapter 3

Trying to stay up until 10 pm (so that I wouldn't be up at 2 am) I flipped channels on the TV in search of something, anything, to watch.  Ah, another medical show to watch - and lo and behold a woman (6 months pregnant) is taken into one of those serious doctor conference room and told....gulp...you...have...lymphoma. Treatment would be chemotherapy.  Now the show had my attention.  My full attention.  And by the way, there were not two doctors in a nice conference room breaking the news to me gently - HA.  The woman had to decide whether or not to deliver the baby early and start treatment...or wait and who knows what.  Now I had to watch the WHOLE show to learn the outcome.  There was some intervening dramatic details, but in the end she had a c-section and started treatment.  Not a word about hair loss, nausea, aches and shakes, and treatment outcome.  BARF - nothing exciting here.  Sucked in by dumb TV.  I better write my own scripts in the future.  I want details on the treatments, the chemical impacts, and for crying out loud the RESULTS.  Would probably end up on PBS with the only commercial endorsements from hemorrhoid remedy companies but I'm good with that business.  My whole family, the entire extended clan, would tune in for sure and call in during the phone-a-thon to raise money for the station. Hell, they'd be working the phones.

Three for the Money

During the last week the van had an irrepairable flat tire, the saturn flunked the safety inspection and the dishwasher circuit board burnt to a crisp...(thank heavens we have six dishwashers at home.)  A typical spring "in like a lion" response to our bad appliance karma.  We almost always buy extended warranties and the manufacturer loses money on us.  In the context of life these events seem not so big deal.  Glad to have the "three" behind us.  While it seems like the not-so-nice things happen in threes, the great stuff seems to know no limits.  Lots to report in that area:  friends invited me to lunch, chocolate dipped strawberries (huge, like baseballs) showed up on my desk, another new scarf (among many)showed up in the mail with awesome earrings (ah, Suz, you are like Santa and the Easter Bunny all rolled into one each week), errands run by darling daughters, dinner with the beautiful and witty sons,a field trip to see the tulips and daffodils downtown by a thoughtful friend, gorgeous yummy organic eggs from a friend's nearby "farm"...on and on it goes.  The universe has a way of over compensating for the threesome...and ain't that grand. AND, got through another week.  Still another week till chemo comes around again - and that is the biggest pleasure of all.
Love is a many splendor thing,
Mary
P.S. And I didn't crank, not once, about my chemo-ed state in this post.  SAWEEEEET.
P.P.S.  Just counted - only 7 weeks till my 8th chemo (Maybe a good title for a country western song...hmmm)

I'm getting what I asked for...oh yeah baby

I decided to give the chemo permission to do what it needs to...
A hall pass
A green card
Full house access
An all day ticket
Free play zone
A shopping extravaganza
Pass go every time...and collect $200
Bingo up, down and sideways...AND ACROSS EVERY ANGLE (heh, heh)

WHEW...

and chemo in turn slurped it all up and went to town and back again and TO TOWN AGAIN!!!  Good on you chemo...I'll take that fatigue and those quirky body shakes as a nod to your extreme success.
MUWAH (air kiss on you)
Mary

Anyone Out There Up for A Challenge???

I'm sick of chemo, sick of being tired, sick of drug induced annoyances...yaddah yaddah yaddah...so anyone up for a challenge? I'm challenging myself to do 5 push ups a day - the cheater "girls P.E." kind...cause that's all I can do.

You in??? The gauntlet has been thrown...if not 5 push-ups, then what you good for??? Huh??? Get your tough on. It's time.