That was Then...This is Now

Lehua bugged me at work for a long time to post something in this blog...but I didn't have it in me to do it.  I was more interested in getting through each day, and not so interested in explaining what that was all about.  That was then - but this is now.  Now includes a visit today to Dr. Chemistry to talk about that sweet, sweet scan that shows no reoccurrence of the lymphoma family after finishing two year of maintenance infusions (done, done, and done in June!)  And so I would like to point out that normal should not ever be over rated.  Some folks have asked me what I will do to celebrate and here is my reply: get up each day and realize that happiness is available in every moment of every day.  That choosing how we see things, and how we experience things is the secret to life.  Not a bucket list (nice to do nice things) but finding the joy in what ever is your life.  Dr. Chemistry and I had a good chat about that today - one of the gifts of her work is that she learned this vicariously from her patients.  The fun end to the day was on the way home from my appointment I stopped at Target to pick up a prescription.  There was my favorite pharmacist - Jana.  She talked me off the ledge one day when, following a treatment, I went to get insulin for Kelley and the prescription had gotten messed up...we've been pals ever since, exchanging bits of info about our lives while she dispenses the goods.  I gave her the all clear news and she came round the counter and we hugged it out and it was a great, great moment.  Life is good, love is everywhere you look for, seize the moment, and sleep well my dears.

My Organic Aunts

My Organic Aunts have been in the fresh food business waaaaay before it was chic...I'm talking the original 1960's organic...juicing and sluicing all kinds of goodness in the food categories. You know about Aunt Vu - she tried to convince me that carob was just like chocolate when I was about 10 years old (seriously, I didn't buy it, altho now I make similar claims. I also like fruitcake so go figure.) When Vu kicked through the door and blasted off to the next space she left behind my other Organic Aunt, C., and it tore C's heart in half. Now C. is on her own to mend that tear - which had already been scarred by the loss of her brother just about 8 months before (Dick will have to have his own space in a blog - which would be his style - more on him in short order.) What C. doesn't see is that she isn't on her own to mend that bleeding heart, that there is a huge circle of love awaiting her command with band aids, and salve, and kisses for boo-boos, and cold compresses and all sorts of loving - she just needs to say the word...But for now she is working through what she needs to work through. It's complicated, of course, by all kinds of other critical life factors. I mean nothing is really simple is it? In the end it is simple though - we just have to simply let go and let things be. Then, like leaves floating down a river, things will flow as they need to be. It sounds a little like peace, love and hippie beads - but it's the truth. Rest easy C., we really, really are ready when you are.

Dear Aunt WWW...and you know who you ARE!

September 13 already.  Unbelieveable.  Life goes on in the most lovely way...still living in the bliss of post treatment life.  And bliss it is - cause life is precious and everyone aught to know it.  Hardly a day goes by without someone telling me a fantastic story - of both the miraculous and the sorrowful.  Heart transplants (20 years out), loosing a loved one after a valient battle - I could go on and on.  And now I know that when you are a cancer survivor that you become a beacon of hope for every life that was lost to the "c" situation...am looking forward to getting my three months out button in a couple weeks.  Last treatment was on June 24th so I'll count that as my celebration date.  Every day, in every way, feels different and fresh and simply the best.  Even the most imperfect things seem to be, well perfect.  So, to Aunt WWW(which is NOT what I would name you) there is goodness after the bad, there is light after the dark, there is going to be lovely coming your way - JUST HANG ON...all you have to do is HANG ON...things will change, you will change, and life will be different.  Love you till then as much as I love you now.

Dear Timmy...

Dear Timmy,
I will never get a chance to meet you but I found out that you're in the "C" Club with me - and that you've been fighting hard to kick the door shut as much as you can for as long as you can. That fight for life is so powerful that I could feel it when your sister K. told me about it and the shear force of it washed over me like an ocean wave. It's impossible to not be awed by what you are doing. Thank you for letting everyone know that every minute of our lives are worth kicking and scratching and biting for...that every part of this journey is sweet, even when it's hard and painful and difficult - because it is ours to live. I can only honor you by being grateful for each breath I take and each moment I am given. K. says you are a chef and that you have fed your big extended family loads of beautiful food. Thanks for feeding my soul to it's very core. You can't get a better meal than that.
Love you,
Mary

Dear Penny...

Dear Penny,
I have never met you but your sister has been a dear to me and she told me a little bit about your circumstances. I understand that you've been served some extra helpings of reality on your plate of life. I met your sister Deb while visiting my dentist. When she learned of my diagnosis she did things like write sweet notes on my bill, sent me a card and was always so lovely on the phone. She was (is) amazing...and then I found out that she knows what it means to go through treatment because she has been by your side. The only thing I could think to do in response to her outpouring of love was to let you know that I'd like to have your back too - that we don't have to have ever met for me to think of you and wish you the very best and to have lots and lots of hope for you everyday. So I'm sending it your way with all the best positive energy that I can. And trust me, I'm so full of cheerfulness right know that my office has to be warned how high I am on the sunshine meter every day so that they can duck and cover when necessary. So as you continue to take big bites out of that realty pie you've got in front of you please know that I'm on your side.
Love you,
Mary

Mary Sunshine Rules!!

Allyce is kicking my trash for not posting a blog - but seriously this "life as usual" is a busy, busy schedule to keep. I am obnoxiously happy every day - Orion says it's that new lease on life that I just signed. He got his when a car nearly knocked him through the door while riding his bike so he knows the deal. A fellow I was sitting by on the bus the other day asked,"did you do that on purpose to your hair or did something happen to you?". It was one of those I-had-it-on-my-mind-and-blurted-it comments. You can certainly say I did it on purpose AND something happened to me. So now while nothing is happening to me I'm digging every day, every meal, every encounter. Mary Sunshine Rules! More normal later - gotta have a regular plain ole glorious night of sleep.

Thank you, thank you, no really thank you to all the people everywhere...

My acceptance speech:

Thank you to all the peeps in American Fork for giving me the honor and distinction of being edgy, liberal and artsy in my new "do"...I don't know what to say, really, but I know how to grow it right.  I appreciate all the second looks everywhere...I know you're wondering where it all comes from.  It's not easy to look like a rock star everyday.  Someone has to do it - it might as well be me.

Thank you also to the folkie folks in Salt Lake City who recognize me and my faux hawk as one of the crowd, the in crowd, the crowd who knows their "tats" (that's ink to some of you) and longs for ear gauges.  I love your acceptance, your love, peace and hippie beads.  See you at the Gallery Stroll, the People's Market, the Twilight Concert.  I'm there for you.

Thank you all for the People's Choice Award- as the one to watch, the one to know.  All I want is world peace and some really, really cute shoes. MUWAH!!!!